Colors Like Memories by Meradeth Houston

Please put your hands together for Meradeth Houston author of Colors Like Memories, a YA Paranormal released from MuseItUp Publishing on May 11th.

Meradeth is having a giveaway for her blog tour. Anyone who comments on this or any other post from her tour will be entered into a drawing. Two lucky winners will receive a copy of Colors Like Memories and one winner will get a $25 gift card for Amazon or Barnes and Noble (full details on Meradeth's blog).

A bit about the Colors Like Memories:

Julia has a secret: she killed the guy she loved. It was an accident—sort of. 

Julia is a Sary, the soul of a child who died before taking her first breath. Without this 'breath of life' she and others like her must help those on the verge of suicide. It's a job Julia used to enjoy, until the accident that claimed her boyfriend’s life—an accident she knows was her fault. If living with the guilt weren't enough, she's now assigned to help a girl dealing with the loss of her mother, something Julia's not exactly the best role model for. If she can't figure out a way to help her, Julia's going to lose her position in the Sary, something she swore to her boyfriend would never happen.

Meradeth (being the good sport she is) agreed to take on the challenge of creating some original work based on the infamous magnetic poetry that graces my refrigerator. She said she channeled this ditty from her main character, Julia:

Some say, cliché,

It is better to loved, & lost,

Than to have never loved at all.

                                  

But to imagine life,

With-out light,

Heart, or warmth,

Makes this dream,

A night(mare).

Sleep,

Sweet essential release,

Would be a tremendous grace,

If this time

Is a dream.

Don't be jealous of her poetic prowess. She admits to having some experience in this area, "My roommates and I used to have several sets on our fridge in college and we were always playing with them, though there were times when we’d have to rush and take them all down before a boyfriend could enter the kitchen—they weren’t always, er, polite..."

She also offered this magnetic line from the writerly part of herself:

My manuscript is not a dictionary, or a dream, but a vacation from the present.

Meradeth’s never been a big fan of talking about herself, but if you really want to know, here are some random tidbits about her:

~She’s a Northern California girl. This generally means she talks too fast and use "like" a lot.

~When she’s not writing, she’s sequencing dead people’s DNA. For fun!

~She’s been writing since she was 11 years old. It's her hobby, her passion, and she’s so happy to get to share her work!

~If she could have a super-power, it would totally be flying. Which is a little strange, because she’s terrified of heights.

http://www.meradethhouston.com/

meradethhouston.blogspot.com

https://twitter.com/#!/MeradethHouston

www.goodreads.com/book/show/13030422-colors-like-memories

http://www.facebook.com/ColorsLikeMemories

http://pinterest.com/merbear95695/

Thanks for stopping by the Observation Desk, Meradeth!

SCBWI Poconos Retreat 2012

I had the pleasure of attending the Eastern PA SCBWI Poconos Conference again this year. With The Boy only being 8 months old and nursing, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go, but the hubby stepped up and watched the little guy at the inn all weekend while I ran off and cavorted with the finest the kidlit community has to offer.

How awesome was the conference this year? Three words: Laurie Halse Anderson! Aside from giving what was probably the best keynote speech I've ever heard, she was just so accessible to the conference attendees. She shared stories with us, offered us advice on our own personal projects, and was honest, thoughtful, and tough about encouraging us to make writing an imperative part of our lives (and she gushed about how cute The Boy is).

So as is my tradition, here's some nuggets of wisdom from the conference that I think have some universal appeal (feel free to substitute the word "writing" for the endeavor of your choice):

• Word of mouth is a great way to find any professional from an agent to a plumber. (Steven Chudney—How to Find and Work with an Agent)
• Whether a thing is a mountain or a molehill depends on how we see ourselves. (Amy June Bates—Keynote)
• Take the time and make the space for your writing dreams. (Laurie Halse Anderson—Keynote)
• When you create writing time that creates a commitment of the soul. (Laurie Halse Anderson—Keynote)
• Dare to get excited, even when you might get let down. We could all get hit by a marshmallow truck tomorrow. (Laurie Halse Anderson—Keynote)
• A vital aspect to nurturing talent is to accept and validate your need to create. Honor, cherish, and celebrate it. (Laurie Halse Anderson—Keynote)
• You can always make it better. Do not ask, "Is this any good?" Ask, "How can I make this better?" (Laurie Halse Anderson—Digging Deeper to See Farther: Revision Secrets)
• Facing your fears and not giving up, that’s what the Teeny Tiny Ghost books are about. (Kay Winters—Keynote)
• Being brave is not being scared; it’s being scared and doing it anyway. (Deb Heiligman—Keynote)
• The trick about a to-do list is to make it doable. (Deb Heiligman—Keynote)

Stay tuned because the rest of May is all about e-books. And I'll have another big announcement at the end of the month!

Magnificent Magnetic Poetry

The poetry has been building up on my fridge. And the poets have really outdone themselves with this round of magnetic verse. Here's the latest musings:

• squirrel breeze                                 
        dream freeze                      
                 conscious can                 
                         gray man  (nice rhyming scheme and use of spacing here...I have no idea what it all means, but I sometimes wonder if that's not the hallmark of good poetry...me not understanding it!)

• the devil relax ed with a cold drink after a long night of trick er y  (I wonder what the devil's drink of choice is...wouldn't it be funny if it was an appletini?)
• explore a prostitute s body with random electric fruit s  (yikes!)
• howl that beautiful morning torso noise  (this person must have had beans the night before)
• dream s create inspiration between cold shadow s and silent thought s  (I wish my dreams did this...mostly they leave me feeling a bit puzzled)
• live for more than a memory  (very deep, very wise)
• spark muse speak music green woman green woman  (the use of repetition here indicates the author has a great understanding of literary techniques...or an unhealthy obsession with the Green Giant's girlfriend!)
• imagine a friend and she will come a live  (kind of cool, but also kind of scary)
• emotion s bleed the heart     wrench the mind    expose our soul     and leave us naked  (my favorite of the bunch, no explanation needed!)

The Hubby came up with the idea of hiding some of the overused words. "Prostitute," "Pickle," "Explore," "Naked," "Skeleton" come to mind (and pretty much anything else that can be manipulated into a dirty phrase). Although as we can see from the above lines, those words still offer thought-provoking options. "Prostitute" still should go...not much you can do with that word that isn't dirty!

"Sometimes your words just hypnotize me"*

The magnetic poetry writers were at it again. Some of the old favorites showed up (I'm looking at you "pleasure puppet"), but this was some of the best poetry ever to be displayed on my refrigerator.

• walk like a skeleton look like a gentle little girl (possibly good advice for a skeleton, but sounds a little threatening to little girls)
  


• squirrel play spark s emotion (as long as the squirrels aren't eating anything out of my veggie garden, their play is okay with me)
  


• please expose the fruit (that's what she said!)
  


• explore you r mind and dream sweet vision s as you drown in the puddle of my soul (I'd say that's one deep soul we're talking about here, but I've heard a person can drown in less than an inch of water, so maybe this soul isn't so deep after all)
  


• he ly no or (I'm not sure these magnets were put together with any specific purpose in mind, but any form of expression--intentional or not--gets included...for better or for worse)
  


• feel that hard monkey s pleasure puppet give tremendous naked sex (the monkey and the pleasure puppet are always up to no good)
  


• essential bosom compel always (the question here is what does the essential bosom compel one to do)
  


• make another memory to warm the cold night s of no moon and dark shadow s (nothing like anticipating the need to stave off a depressing night)
  


• dead experience (quite the intriguing oxymoron)
  


• take only truth make only love (I think I saved the best for last)

Once again, thanks to everyone who chose to expose the fruit of their creativity on my refrigerator. Your musing never fail to entertain me.

*Notorious B.I.G.

"You better listen to your mama"*

The ladies and I had a lovely brunch yesterday to celebrate Mother's Day. The weather was gorgeous and several of us kept the festivities going when we walked around the green and checked out a craft fair.

With my status as mother-to-be I got my first ever Mother's Day presents in the form of cards, flowers, and delicious homemade banana bread (thanks goes out to The Boy...yup, it's a boy!). The hubby decorated the refrigerator with ultrasound pictures of the little guy, but that wasn't the only thing that ended up on the refrigerator.

That's right! As with all the gatherings at my house, the guests were encouraged to express themselves with poetry. There was a whole new crop of words that had been added to the magnetic poetry kit since the last installment and the phrases were flowing. Here's what the guests had to say:

• spring morning garden leave s little want ing (there's nothing I can really add to this beautiful sentiment...but notice I still added something by pointing that out)


• imagine sweet dream s (if only it were as simply as imagining them and they came true)


• a spark ly puddle is an inspiration for play time (probably true for most children, not so much for most adults)


• easy trick bake good rain love (ummm...that's what she said? maybe not, but I couldn't go without saying it)


• always taste summer and fear not to drink the gentle breeze (I think the awesome weather really inspired the guests to new levels of poetic beauty)


• do squirrel s experience emotion (it's a burning question that I know so many of us have been wondering and I'm glad someone finally asked it)

As always, thanks to those who contributed. What kind of poetic inspiration have you been experiencing lately?

*Jason Mraz

"Swing Life Away"*

Every year at the Eastern PA SCBWI Poconos conference I learn something new. I always enjoy this conference, but there wasn't a single speaker or session I attended that disappointed. Here's some insightful nuggets that resonated with me not only as a writer but as a person (these are not written with quotation marks because I often paraphrase when I'm taking notes, but I think the ideas the speakers intended are all intact):

• Even when you think something isn't relative right now, write it down. You will change. Something extraneous now may be exactly what you need later.
• There are no secure boxes. Do whatever you want to do, and do it wildly, purely, uncensored, even regrettable. Do it as hard as you can. ~Donna Jo Napoli

• There are so many things out of our control, and we, especially children, are trying to figure things out and how to control our lives.
• Write what you want to know. You'll experience what you never imagined. If you take the chance, something will change, not just your manuscript...you! ~Suzanne Morgan Williams

• Don't worry about how long it takes, worry about making it right.
• Nothing can make you feel worse than to compare yourself to someone else. It's important not to beat ourselves up. We all have our own journey, we should celebrate our own journey.
• Never give up because you might be on the one yard line, and you just don't know it. ~Donna Gephart

• Part of the fun for me is when I get to go out with my giant turkey head and do book signings.
• They told me you probably shouldn't show so much penguin butt. ~Lee Harper

This year I also learned that no matter how childish an idea seems (like going on the swings on a lovely spring day), never be too ashamed to share it with others (especially if you are at a conference full of people who create books for children). They might just want to join in on the fun, and you might make a friend in the process.

I think the most important thing I took away from this conference was to live and write with more freedom. As an adult, I think I've gotten away from expressing my true self. There isn't one reason for this that I can pinpoint, but I blame some combination of worrying about what others think of me, trying to follow all the "rules" of society, and in general just being too self-aware.

It's time for me to let go a little. To do and not think. To write drafts with more abandon. To be more relaxed when I send query letters. To not be afraid to let my true personality show through. What have you been working on lately?

*Rise Against

"Everybody ends up here in bottles, but the name tag's the last thing you wanted"*

Another year has passed since I last marked the anniversary of my sister's death. Recently I was feeling very lonely and I couldn't quite figure out why. I have a lot of people in my life who love and care about me, but there was an emptiness inside of me that wouldn't go away.

Then I realized I missed my little sister. I wanted to talk with her, but she wasn't there to answer back. And, no matter how many friends or loves I have in my life, no one on this earth will ever be the sister or the friend she was to me.

Kylene was only here for 16 years, but she filled those years with so much life. She wrote the poem below, and though the sentiment is beautifully written, I don't think it is a true reflection of who she was. She may never have graduated high school, gotten married, or had any children, but there wasn't a wasted moment of her life here on earth.

Wasting my time
Killing my time
living this life like I should
Not like I could

I learned from a book
I learned from a teacher
but what about life
What about the Experience

I'm sitting inside
going through the motions
While life turns outside
passing me by

Tomorrow's but today
Just like any other day
I throw my life away
It slips down the drain

~Kylene Laraine Carroll

*Our Lady Peace

"You've finally got something to say"*

The infamous magnetic poetry kit has been quiet of late (maybe because the winter has caused me to be something of a recluse and I haven't invited anyone over lately). I'm hoping a new crop of words (a gift from my cousin) will spark the creativity of any future guests.

In the meantime, here's a few lines of magnetic poetry that have been hanging out on my refrigerator:

• beneath a translucent desire is fear genius & beauty (umm...I think I need more time to think about this one...it's very deep)
  
  
• black monkey chicken naked in the night (you always have to look out for the black monkey chicken...especially when it's naked)

• whisper bosom talk s sweet idea s of mind & shadow (and you should talk back to the whisper bosom with your trumpet bottom)

• take me (like all good poetry this is short and to the point, but at the same time it has multiple layers...and it's also what she said!)

• spring is like the sweet flower that time leave s behind (a little too cliched for me, but I can appreciate the sentiment)

Thanks to all who contributed. And if you're ever at my house, please take a few minutes to create your own piece of poetry.

*Toad the Wet Sprocket

"Choppy words in a sloppy flow"*

We had a little cookout and backyard fire over Labor Day weekend. My refrigerator is now kind of famous at these little shindigs because of the magnetic poetry kit.

(So this picture isn't really from my backyard (you think!). That's way more fires and way more people than would fit on my .2 acres. It's from a recent trip to the WaterFire Providence.)

The party-goers were in rare form, and there was one line of poetry I'm not going to include in full...just to give you an idea of its flavor, the poet put the tiles "an" and "al" together and it also contained the tiles "long," "green," "pickle," and "spurt" (somehow it always turn dirty...that's what she said!).

• i am an old bald devil dog who has a free soul and love s to eat (nice to see the old bald devil dog is enjoying life)


• speak wrong mind but think from heart (ahhh...very wise, grasshopper)


• pour some wine and soon you must table dance as hot as a random spider genius (the "a" tile is actually "at" with the t covered...I have such clever--and demented/drunk--guests)


• if i vacuum a precious monkey chicken it will release a black bosom tremendous ly naked (well, you better not vacuum the precious monkey chicken then)


• sweet night whisper e d her light poet r y to my howl ing brain (I hope the night's poetry was better than the magnetic poetry...really, I kid because I do love it when people make poetry on my refrigerator)

Thanks to all who created a little fun on the fridge!

*Linkin Park

"Yes we're going to a party party"*

The party-goers have been at it once again! They were at my house celebrating a certain occasion (I'll never tell what, but there are some not-so-subtle clues in this post and the actual date of the cause of celebration is July 12th) when they decided to have some fun with the magnetic poetry kit.

Here's what the fearless poets came up with this time:

• manipulate explore and burn (possible instructions for covering up crime?...maybe my brain went there because The Godfather is on)
• puppet confess rhythm howl work too girl pour a s (my little nephew, who turned four earlier this month, came up with this one...it has a certain rhythm to it all right)
• silent voice time (we could all use a little of this)
• prostitute s love to create pleasure for naked obedient expose d chicken monkey s (it wouldn't be magnetic poetry without the good ol' prostitute and her crazy exploits with the exposed chicken monkey)
• investigate who vacuum es up beauty (grammar issues aside--it seems all the S's were already being used--i suspect this somehow involves the crimes committed by the first poet)
• suck sex (c'mon, you know what comes next...say it with me, "That's what she said!")
• why dance funny like the strange spider with the precious old pickle (why, indeed)
• imagine every dream be ing sweet (my personal favorite, probably because my dreams tend to be anything but sweet)

Thanks to all who participated in writing this wonderful poetry. I always enjoy sharing your creative creations.

*The Beatles

"It's too far away for me to hold, it's too far away...guess I'll let it go"*

Today marks the eighth anniversary of my sister Kylene's death. This was the day the world stopped spinning and turned in a whole new direction. It was also the day I became a writer (even though I wouldn't realize this for two more years). I may be able to hack it at writing stories, but Kylene was the true poet of the family. Here is one of her poems.

Today I learned about the Math
about the Science
Today I missed out on the life lesson
24 hrs. slipped by
I got an A
I passed the Test
I lied

Days go by, I work, I play
Months go by I give I take
Years go by I live I die
Life's a circle
Life's a cycle
Life's a motion

What's tomorrow
But another day
A new life?
A Fresh Start?
New Hope?
Clean Slate?
Tomorrow's but today
Just another day
~Kylene Laraine Carroll

*Fuel

"Express Yourself"*

The party-goers have been expressing their creativity again with the magnetic poetry kit. This is how my guests showed their joy at celebrating my mom's birthday (as always imaginative use of tiles has been preserved as much as possible).

• imagine beauty which always sucks (the last "s" in sucks was actually part of the word "is," but this clever--and possibly depressed--person covered the "i" with the word "suck")
• my perfect genius monkey boy will make me drown in his sweet brain music (yeah, well my perfect genius monkey boy will kick your perfect genius monkey boy's butt...ha!)
• never investigate our skeleton in the attic (what, you keep yours in the closet?)
• spur cold tree old do nut this but we did an obedient whisper (doesn't make much sense, but good use of internal rhyme)
• they expose d my precious bald dictionary to release another inspiration spurt (it's just all too shocking!)
• give him the sex y ache ing ghost bosom (maybe this guy should hook up with the skeleton in the attic)
• use manacle s for transgress ion s by a mean electric spider puppet (that's sound advice if I've ever hear any)
• ity see lime free off as out right est er un & ness & and i work and mouth black do so ly at at (I think my four-year-old niece put this one up...at least I hope it wasn't written by someone who actually knows how to read all those words)
• a girl has the voice too break every man (too ;) true)
• must explore pleasure curse (I'll get on that right away)
• bleed translucent famous dog bone love (hopefully not all over my kitchen floor)
• drink down tremendous dead desire spark s then come holy silent night (I've heard that is the original title to "Silent Night" but over time the beginning got cut off)
• devil wine manipulate vision (oh, so that's why I was seeing double the whole night)
• her shadow soul howl e d as it was compel ed to pour from he r body like a naked chicken rhythm dance ing (I don't know about you, but my soul always howls when it pours from my body like a naked chicken rhythm dancing)
• experience elaborate prostitute between vacuum (the elaborate prostitute rears her ugly head again)
• e y r l fire of she I are why yes (maybe another one from my niece, but profound in its own way)

It was a record number of sayings on the refrigerator! Thanks to all participants. Feel free to take credit for your work in the comment section.

*Charles Wright

"It's all about the wordplay"*

Girls' Christmas (my "sisters" and I get together every year for a girls-and-kids-only Christmas party) was relocated to my house at the last minute, so I requested that my guests create a sentence with the magnetic poetry kit on my refrigerator. Here's what we came up with (as usual, I put a space in between each magnet to show the creative combinations):

• love people like they a r e obedient prostitute s (I would think any obedient prostitute is easy to love, so this could be a new logo for world peace or something!)
• experience perfect pleasure through bald chicken rhythm dance ing (I'd like to see bald chicken rhythm dancing...or on second thought, maybe I wouldn't.)
• spark random inspiration speak every thought investigate precious emotion (lather, rinse, repeat)
• electric transgress ion s will burn holy fire (That's what she said!)
• the devil s skeleton is suck ing seed y sweet & sour soup (Nice alliteration...who knew the devil's skeleton liked Chinese food?)

In other word news, my sister, niece, and nephews are trying to get the word "poink" into mainstream vocabulary. This started when my three-year-0ld nephew told my sister he didn't want to sit in one of the dining-room chairs because it had a "pionk." My sister asked, "What's a poink?" So he showed her a broken chair rung that was sticking into his back. They now use the word regularly.

Poink has actually turned out to be very versatile. It can be a noun, as in the original sense: That needle has a sharp poink. It can be a verb, literally: Ouch! That needle just poinked me. It can be a verb, figuratively: Oh, you just got poinked. It can be an adjective: That needle is very poinky.

I checked out the urban dictionary and found some interesting definitions for poink and poinky. I recommend everyone tries to use poink in a sentence today.

*Jason Mraz (Yup, I'm kind of obsessed with his music lately!)

"Put all your so-called problems, better put them in quotations"*

My friends like to share their own unique brand of problems by writing them on my refrigerator. You may remember the last time I shared their magnetic poetry. I have to say, I found their thoughts a bit disturbing.

I'm glad my friends consider my home (or at least my fridge) as safe place for expressing themselves. Here's the latest entries:

• This old dog said you like vacuum prostitutes. (Do I want to know what else you like? Probably not!)
• Suck my obedient bosom fire. (That's what she said!)
• Sour pickle mouth takes head. (Ummm...no comment)
• Always imagine pleasure and beauty fighting devil spurts. (My personal favorite because it really makes you think.)

Last post I discussed some very small (in the literal sense) things that might actually turn out to be very big (metaphorically). Next post I'll take a look at something very big indeed!

*John Mayer

"Talk Dirty to Me"*

The magnetic poetry kit was a big hit at the party I hosted this weekend. Apparently the lack of punctuation didn't bother my intoxicated friends. Alas there was no "pleasure pickle," but both words did make an appearance. Just a quick disclaimer: These quotes get a bit graphic, so anyone with a sensitive stomach--or with any sensibilities at all--may want to refrain from reading further! I kept the space between magnets even when they made one word because some of the combinations are particularly creative.

If you are brave enough to persevere:

"bleed that perfect thought puppet" (ummm...eww, I think?)

"manipulate a precious chicken beneath old skeleton" (double eww)

"sweet steam y fire y sex" (sounds good to me--as long as it's in the figurative sense)

"dance with green angel" (oddly sweet, although it did kind of remind of me Slimer from Ghostbusters)

"my love life is curse d" (so sad, but given the other phrases not terribly surprising)

"obedient famous people suck money" (what about those disobedient famous people?)

"play & drink but never sleep" (an apt description of my party!)

"imagine me between random girl s spurt ing" (hopefully the random girls are of age)

"I desire a hot naked good bald woman to come on" (who doesn't?)

"she always eat s my pleasure monkey then howl s" (that's just like her, isn't it?)

"expose tremendous bosom & ache ing pickle" (oh, if only I had a tremendous bosom)

"explore another man bone in he r mouth" (really, no thanks...I'm all set)

I did leave out one that used the word "prostitute" because I felt it might be too offensive (I know, it must've been pretty bad given what I did include!). Oh, and I swear I didn't make any of these up myself...this is really what is on my refrigerator right now. I'll have to remember to rearrange the magnets before my nine-year-old nephew comes over!

*Poison

'We Didn't Start the Fire"*

To end my posts on London, I'm actually going to let my guest blogger have the last word. He claims he isn't that creative and he's not a writer, but I may have to watch out that he doesn't take my job! He certainly has the same sarcastic tone...I guess that's one of the reasons why we're married. Anyway, with out any further ado: My husband.

There are times when I travel that my trip develops a theme. London 2008 was one of those trips. What was the theme you ask? Fire alarms. Strange, I know. Just give it time…

It all started my first Tuesday when I was at the client's office. Shortly after settling in, the client came by to let me know that there "might" be a fire drill. Great, sounds like fun. So, with this in mind, I went back to work. A couple of hours later, sure enough, fire drill time. Of course, I had completely forgotten about it until the sirens went off so I had to restart my heart, pick myself up off the floor and find my way out without running or screaming. Harder than it sounds. A few hours later, apparently just for fun, they decided to set the sirens off again. Just for a few seconds. We didn't have to leave but I did have to change my pants. Luckily, I carry a spare pair.

Now you would think that this would be the end of my excitement with fire alarms, right? How many run-ins can you possibly have with such a phenomenon in one trip? 5:47am Monday morning. I don't care where you are, that's early. I am awoken (with a start would be an understatement) to a very loud and painful sound. Now, it took a few seconds to figure things out and here's why.

Every night for a week, my phone would ring half-way twice at midnight. Either it was broken or it just didn’t like me. So when I woke up on Monday morning, my first thought was that it was the phone with my 12:00am wake up call. No such luck.

I then went for the TV remote. Seem odd? Well, the room didn’t have an alarm clock and I didn't want to use my cell phone because it would keep looking for a signal and just run the battery down and die, so, I had been using the alarm feature on the TV. Not only did it turn the TV on, it also made an ear piercing noise. Good morning!

So, at 5:47am (in case you forgot), I grabbed the remote and tried to turn the TV, and hopefully the noise, off. Turns out, TV remotes do not work on fire alarms. Go figure. Eventually, I realized what was happening and considering the chances of it being a drill at 5:47am in a hotel are quite slim, I decided to get out.

In preparing to flee for my life, I figured I should grab the essentials in the event my room would soon be engulfed in flames. Not what you want to think about at the butt crack of dawn but here is what I grabbed: My warm-ups (of course). There is no way I was letting those things go. A long sleeve shirt. No real reason. I just figured it would be cold outside, which it was. Flip flops. Cold air means cold ground which means an even grumpier me. My wallet and passport. Good grabs I feel. If I lost everything else, I would still be able to get home in my favorite warm ups.

Once I was "packed", I headed out of my room and followed the emergency exit signs (well marked I must say) to the outside. As I was walking down the hallway, a few people were sticking their heads out of their rooms and asking what was going on in a multitude of accents. I really wanted to scream, "Fire! Fire! Run for your lives!" But I didn't. I simply informed them it was the fire alarm and proceeded to save my own behind. What was the highlight of my first, and hopefully last, hotel fire alarm experience? It had to be the lady who came storming into the stairwell, with her pants half on (or half off depending on how you look at it), hopping on one leg while trying to get the other one in her pants. Sorry lady, but that's just too funny. Thank you.

So we all went outside and waited for one, and only one, fire truck to arrive. Only two guys got out (they must have known it wasn't too important) and they let us back in after about 10 minutes. It turns out that someone was smoking in his room. I guess it's a good thing I didn’t find out who it was or in what room he was staying or else this story would be about my experiences getting arrested in a foreign country instead. Probably not as funny. So, in an attempt to find a silver lining, I have compiled a list of things I have learned as a result of this enriching life experience.

1. Mercedes Benz makes fire engines. Who knew?

2. When I have to, I can find a pair of black warm-ups, in a black suitcase, in a dark room. A talent I am sure many people are envious of.

3. TV remotes do not turn off fire alarms. This one is important so make a mental note.

4. The Holiday Inn in Bloomsbury deserves kudos for their emergency signage. It was quite easy for me to find my way out while in potential cardiac arrest.

5. While the fire alarm is going off is the wrong time to try and read the escape route map on the hotel room door. Believe it or not, it is quite confusing under such circumstances. If, however, you choose not to follow this advice, at least turn the light on. I didn't. That might have been why it was so tough to read. My recommendation: just follow the signs. Another, albeit less reliable option, would be to follow other people. If it turns out that they don't know where they are going, at least you won't be alone.

6. Fire doors are everywhere in hotels in London. You don't usually notice them as they are open until the fire alarm goes off, and then they all close. The idea is that they will help to slow the progression of a fire. Guess what. They also slow the escape of a terrified foreigner fleeing for his life. We may need to rethink this. So, if you are ever in London and there is a fire, you better know how to open doors. Practice now. It may pay off in the future.

Cheerios!

*Billy Joel